Sunday, September 12, 2010

Possible progress is better than none at all.

I am so behind on many things. School stuff for Izzy, sewing projects, crafts I promised to people this year (Hey, if you want something, please tell me if you have a preference on type. Otherwise, you'll just get soap. heh.) Cleaning. Training the dogs. Getting rid of toys. Getting rid of unused kitchen items. Blah.

But yesterday, the Izzy and I went to synagogue and I feel so much lighter as a result. It's really been weighing on me over the last few months that I need to have some purpose in my spiritual life. My regular life has purpose: don't let the children win. But I think if I want to have even a whisper of a chance of succeeding in that arena, I need to have the rest of my house in order. So, yeah. We went to shul and she was excited about the singing and the snacks. But it just felt so nice to be somewhere with people of common purpose. I didn't expect to feel so much better after going. I think the key moment was saying the Shema. You close your eyes and say it with everyone in the room and yet you are entirely alone in your declaration.

The last few years have flown by me and I wonder if that happens because I don't have clear "checkpoints" during those months. The occasional holiday is great but they don't have special meaning to me in most cases. Thanksgiving/Christmas are times to get together with family and I love that but I don't find a resonating meaning behind them. I have this urge to embrace more potent holy days.

Anyway. Moment of clarity, maybe?

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