Monday, March 9, 2015

March 9, 2015

 Spring Break is here! Yayyyyy... or something. It's raining, which makes it even harder to really get excited about Spring Break.

Yep. "Even harder". I say that because for the last few years, the husband has taken the man-child for road trips during his Spring Break and the girls and I have stayed home. It's not like we CAN'T do anything but we have dogs so that makes a mother/daughters road trip unlikely. So we're here... some more. I have plans for this week but they involve still being close to home and having to wait till the weather is more cooperative. So I REALLY hope it stops raining and brightens up a bit.

I'm fairly accustomed to being the default parent here but I think it's getting harder not to be a liiiiiiiiittle bitter about the extended hours when the husband is out of town. Whether it's for work or fun, it's hard not to feel left-behind. Left-out. I know that's the depression talking, most of the time. I should take some ownership here and find things to occupy my time and thoughts. But the sneaky thing about depression is that it finds a way to cloud your thinking so you forget to make those plans, go places, do things, see people. And you just want to wallow a bit and think about how you don't get weekends off, you don't go anywhere exciting...

I'm going to blame Monday for my mood and mental state. It's Monday and raining and I'm alone with some slightly demanding small people and dogs.