The wind has been buffeting the house for the last couple of days and I can say, with reasonable confidence, that I am ready for it to go away. There are some days that I love to watch the wind play with the trees, bending them this way and that, like great leafy dancers. But this wind has brought with it a feeling of unrest and irritation. Probably doesn't help that Mother Nature has come to call in more ways than one.
The wind whipping around the house is an interesting sound but it makes for dusty dogs and bored children. I don't think they would mind trading places but I'm not sure that would actually make life any more pleasant for mommy. Not to mention how very like life the wind is. Lately, I feel like I am tugged one way and another and I just go... And then it blows on by me and I'm here, disheveled and unfocused.
This could all just be a mood. I often have days when I wonder what I'm doing with my time and how I could better utilize it. What could I teach the girls that I'm not? What could I be doing, creatively, that I'm not? What goals could I have that I simply... don't?
I feel small. There are mothers who are out there making a discernible difference in their world AND raising children. There are mothers with careers that make an impact on lives or provide a valuable service AND they raise their children. I feel less-than. I'm raising wonderful children and I think maybe I'm the unnoticeable cog that is vital to the machine's movement but all in all, still just a little dusty cog. I don't stand out. I don't have a cause or a goal or a bright and shiny talent.
I hate the wind.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Weekend already?
This week has kind of flown by. Chad got home Sunday and stayed home sick on Monday. I guess he caught something on the plane. I don't even remember what I did Tuesday and Wednesday... Oh! I took the girls to a local mall Wednesday. We showed up at Barnes and Noble just in time for their Story Hour. I didn't know they did one at all and it was AWESOME! Mr Jeff is very animated and seems to love interacting with the kids. Definitely going to make that a new part of our routine.
Thursday, Isobel had a dentist appointment. It turns out the dark spot I was worried about is indeed a small cavity starting but hopefully it won't take a big filling. She did really well at letting the dentist poke around in her mouth and polish her teeth. It helped that they have this neat Kangaroo toy with TEETH in it's mouth. She brushed them over and over and then held his little paw while her teeth were being polished. So cute!
Spring.... where are you? Some days it's cold, some days it's HOT and I want nice middle of the road weather.
Thursday, Isobel had a dentist appointment. It turns out the dark spot I was worried about is indeed a small cavity starting but hopefully it won't take a big filling. She did really well at letting the dentist poke around in her mouth and polish her teeth. It helped that they have this neat Kangaroo toy with TEETH in it's mouth. She brushed them over and over and then held his little paw while her teeth were being polished. So cute!
Spring.... where are you? Some days it's cold, some days it's HOT and I want nice middle of the road weather.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Skype babies
Daddy is in Vancouver till tomorrow and the girls got to have their first Skype call with him tonight. Lily absolutely loved the whole concept... she kept waving to him, trying to give kisses and loved when he would get up close to the camera and make silly faces. Izzy liked it but was more interested in trying to entertain Daddy with hand stands and general silliness. I think his absence has left her a little wound up so hopefully when he's back, she returns to a more calm normality. Yeah right... heh
Before Chad left, I thought about painting our room/bathroom. It's hard to do stuff like that when we have to have access to the room every night so when he's out of town, it's a prime time for creativity. Tuesday afternoon, we picked out colors and got the paint. When the girls went to bed, I got started on the cutting in process. Oy. I am NOT a fan of cutting in. It's so time consuming! And having to squoosh all the furniture into the middle of the room to have space for the giant ladder? Yikes. At least I got all the top cutting-in done before Lily started waking up. She's been having these wakeful nights on and off lately... she wakes up crying and then calms down once I check on her. But for some reason, she struggles to go back to sleep and is sometimes awake for 2-3 hours.
So Tuesday night, I ended up penning the dogs in the hallway and sleeping on the girls' floor with my hand stuck in Lily's crib. She finally passed out sometime after midnight. Wednesday night, she slept fairly normally but Izzy woke up a couple of times. Thursday night, Lily had the same wakefulness. Their floor is SO not comfortable. And waking up at the crack of dawn with Izzy and sneaking downstairs so as not to wake Lily is not terribly fun, either.
The painting is done, tho. I painted Tuesday/Wednesday night and Thursday during what was supposed to be Izzy's nap (she just played on the couch in the living room). Friday, I painted the main part of the bathroom and today I wrapped up with the little WC. I was hoping to paint the girls' bathroom as well but I think I'm gonna hold off on that for a little while. Maybe even do it a different color. Our room and the bathroom is a LOT of yellow. ;-)
I miss my honey. His being away on these trips has gotten easier to handle but I still am not a fan. I find myself to be very short tempered the last couple of days. It stinks he can't take off Monday to hang out with us.
Before Chad left, I thought about painting our room/bathroom. It's hard to do stuff like that when we have to have access to the room every night so when he's out of town, it's a prime time for creativity. Tuesday afternoon, we picked out colors and got the paint. When the girls went to bed, I got started on the cutting in process. Oy. I am NOT a fan of cutting in. It's so time consuming! And having to squoosh all the furniture into the middle of the room to have space for the giant ladder? Yikes. At least I got all the top cutting-in done before Lily started waking up. She's been having these wakeful nights on and off lately... she wakes up crying and then calms down once I check on her. But for some reason, she struggles to go back to sleep and is sometimes awake for 2-3 hours.
So Tuesday night, I ended up penning the dogs in the hallway and sleeping on the girls' floor with my hand stuck in Lily's crib. She finally passed out sometime after midnight. Wednesday night, she slept fairly normally but Izzy woke up a couple of times. Thursday night, Lily had the same wakefulness. Their floor is SO not comfortable. And waking up at the crack of dawn with Izzy and sneaking downstairs so as not to wake Lily is not terribly fun, either.
The painting is done, tho. I painted Tuesday/Wednesday night and Thursday during what was supposed to be Izzy's nap (she just played on the couch in the living room). Friday, I painted the main part of the bathroom and today I wrapped up with the little WC. I was hoping to paint the girls' bathroom as well but I think I'm gonna hold off on that for a little while. Maybe even do it a different color. Our room and the bathroom is a LOT of yellow. ;-)
I miss my honey. His being away on these trips has gotten easier to handle but I still am not a fan. I find myself to be very short tempered the last couple of days. It stinks he can't take off Monday to hang out with us.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
So long, February!
While it seems that New Year's day was ages ago, it still feels strange to already be saying farewell to the second month of the year. Just a little over a month until my birthday and then 6 weeks later it will be Lily's. Ack!!
Ben turns 10 today. TEN! I remember when he was younger than Lily and now he's nearly as tall as me and seems to become more mature every time we see him. He's certainly begun to grasp reality in a way that eluded him just months ago. I hope he stays as positive as he currently is because there's an awful lot of reality to grasp in the next few years.
Today is tax day for us. I'm glad I didn't have to go along for the appointment but I don't like not knowing what's going on or when Chad will be back home. He's planning to check on the other house after the appointment so I'm hoping we only get good news today.
There's a homeschooling book fair in Irving in May and I'm thinking about going. I would love to get some real guidance on how to start homeschooling the girls. With 2 years between them, there's a lot of stuff that I feel Lily wouldn't learn yet but I want to teach Izzy... however, coordinating lessons and playtime for both of them is super challenging to me. Do I let Izzy go without structure a while longer or do I impose more structure on Lily's day? Anyway. If I can get some good info out of the bookfair, I will feel so much more confident about being able to teach them at home, at least through the elementary years.
Ben turns 10 today. TEN! I remember when he was younger than Lily and now he's nearly as tall as me and seems to become more mature every time we see him. He's certainly begun to grasp reality in a way that eluded him just months ago. I hope he stays as positive as he currently is because there's an awful lot of reality to grasp in the next few years.
Today is tax day for us. I'm glad I didn't have to go along for the appointment but I don't like not knowing what's going on or when Chad will be back home. He's planning to check on the other house after the appointment so I'm hoping we only get good news today.
There's a homeschooling book fair in Irving in May and I'm thinking about going. I would love to get some real guidance on how to start homeschooling the girls. With 2 years between them, there's a lot of stuff that I feel Lily wouldn't learn yet but I want to teach Izzy... however, coordinating lessons and playtime for both of them is super challenging to me. Do I let Izzy go without structure a while longer or do I impose more structure on Lily's day? Anyway. If I can get some good info out of the bookfair, I will feel so much more confident about being able to teach them at home, at least through the elementary years.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Maybe I missed my chance to go to school and become a child psychologist...
Yesterday was like most days. We played in the morning, made some fun cards, watched a little kid-tv. But Izzy didn't nap. After 2 hours of her not sleeping, I took the girls to the park... it was nice if a bit blustery out there. We did great right up until we actually got to the park. Izzy stopped watching where she was going and fell down, skinning her leg a bit. Lily played on the slides but didn't want my help climbing on things so I tried letting her just walk around and explore. She belly-flopped onto a sidewalk and chipped two teeth while skinning the bejeezuz out of her chin.
I should have known then that the rest of the day was gonna be a write off.
We went to dinner and Izzy maintained a facade of normalcy. I think seeing her favorite people (Justin and Sunny) helped. But after we got home, it all continued to crumble. She completely flipped out about getting in bed. She usually tells me she doesn't want to go to bed but doesn't make a big deal out of it if I just tell her "I'm sorry but it's bedtime so you have to be in your bed." This did NOT work last night. She refused to take off her shoes, insisting she wanted to sleep in them. When I tried to help her take them off, she resorted to spitting and screaming about it, demanding to do it herself. She wouldn't cooperate when it came to putting on a sleeping outfit or pullup. Scream, scream, scream. Eventually, I think she just wore herself out. She did calm down when I went up after about 20 minutes but then woke up crying again an hour later.
Today, I told her that her nap wasn't optional. We were NOT having a repeat. She agreed and actually went to sleep within about 15 minutes and took a really decent nap.
So I have no clue what has led to her completely flipping out on me tonight. She happily collected a blanket on the way up, asking to rock in a chair with me for a little bit before bed. No big deal, right? We stopped to brush teeth and as soon as I offered her the toothbrush, she yelled that she didn't want to do it so I said "ok, I'll do it for you." That's routine... sometimes she's just too tired to brush her teeth herself. But spitting and slapping at me is very much not a part of the routine.
I'm trying to remain calm. Never discipline a child while angry, etc. right? We rocked and read our bedtime book and then when I said it was bedtime, she started yelling that she wanted to sit in the hallway and be in trouble instead. WTFrick. I figure it's best not to let her control the options so I said we aren't doing that tonight and she needs to stay in bed. Scream scream, slap slap. *sigh*
15 minutes and counting of her yelling that she wants me, wants to hold me, wants to be downstairs, wants to go potty.
It occurs to me now that we'd started breaking up their bedtimes by about 30 minutes and maybe she's just not articulating that she doesn't want to go to bed at the same time as Lily anymore but good grief... could it really be THAT big a deal? They've gone to bed at the same time for months and only been sometimes going to bed at different times for the last couple of weeks.
I may or may not be drinking a margarita in the dark when Chad gets home.
I should have known then that the rest of the day was gonna be a write off.
We went to dinner and Izzy maintained a facade of normalcy. I think seeing her favorite people (Justin and Sunny) helped. But after we got home, it all continued to crumble. She completely flipped out about getting in bed. She usually tells me she doesn't want to go to bed but doesn't make a big deal out of it if I just tell her "I'm sorry but it's bedtime so you have to be in your bed." This did NOT work last night. She refused to take off her shoes, insisting she wanted to sleep in them. When I tried to help her take them off, she resorted to spitting and screaming about it, demanding to do it herself. She wouldn't cooperate when it came to putting on a sleeping outfit or pullup. Scream, scream, scream. Eventually, I think she just wore herself out. She did calm down when I went up after about 20 minutes but then woke up crying again an hour later.
Today, I told her that her nap wasn't optional. We were NOT having a repeat. She agreed and actually went to sleep within about 15 minutes and took a really decent nap.
So I have no clue what has led to her completely flipping out on me tonight. She happily collected a blanket on the way up, asking to rock in a chair with me for a little bit before bed. No big deal, right? We stopped to brush teeth and as soon as I offered her the toothbrush, she yelled that she didn't want to do it so I said "ok, I'll do it for you." That's routine... sometimes she's just too tired to brush her teeth herself. But spitting and slapping at me is very much not a part of the routine.
I'm trying to remain calm. Never discipline a child while angry, etc. right? We rocked and read our bedtime book and then when I said it was bedtime, she started yelling that she wanted to sit in the hallway and be in trouble instead. WTFrick. I figure it's best not to let her control the options so I said we aren't doing that tonight and she needs to stay in bed. Scream scream, slap slap. *sigh*
15 minutes and counting of her yelling that she wants me, wants to hold me, wants to be downstairs, wants to go potty.
It occurs to me now that we'd started breaking up their bedtimes by about 30 minutes and maybe she's just not articulating that she doesn't want to go to bed at the same time as Lily anymore but good grief... could it really be THAT big a deal? They've gone to bed at the same time for months and only been sometimes going to bed at different times for the last couple of weeks.
I may or may not be drinking a margarita in the dark when Chad gets home.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Playground:1 Lily:0
It doesn't look so bad now that it's got Neosporin on it but this is what happens when Lily forgets that not all things are cushioned. She launched herself onto the sidewalk from the playground area. :( Chipped her top middle teeth and everything. This one is gonna be the one that breaks bones.
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