Wednesday, October 26, 2011

October 26, 2011

I'm getting use to life being seen through terribly smudged sunglasses. Nothing is my own anymore and while this sometimes frustrates the ever living out of me, in many ways, it's what I've always wanted.

Watching "Blue's Clues" earlier and observing the way Izzy tried to interact by playing with my old Blue, made me think. What seems like many years ago now, we would go to concerts or movies that appealed to us whenever we had the chance/money. We were free to make our own decisions based on our wants and likes and in some ways, I'm sure, we were glad to not have full-time small-child demands on us. On the weekends we had Ben, we did kid things and when we didn't have him, we did more adult things. We saw Steve Burns in concert, once and thought how funny it was that we might 'have' to watch Blue's Clues with Ben one day and here we were seeing the former star of the show in a completely different format and light on another.

These days, I sometimes wonder what we'd be doing if we didn't have to organize our days around what works for the kids and what interests them or is appropriate for them to be around even if it bores them to tears. Our house would be less cluttered, there would be FAR less laundry to do and nowhere near as many things to trip over when walking from room to room. Lunch would much less frequently be comprised of fish sticks or pb&j and there wouldn't be the constant battle over naptime and bedtime.

But my clothes wouldn't have finger paint stains, the refrigerator wouldn't have rainbow pumpkins, no one would be asking if we want to play chess or checkers, and my sunglasses would not be smudged with tiny finger prints.

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