Mundane mundus

When I was pregnant, people would ask me if I was excited or scared or nervous about 'the big day'. I rarely had a genuine response to that because I didn't know what to say. I think I told most of the Curious that I was excited about it or maybe anxious. But I don't think that touches on the truth of it. I looked forward to 'the big day' but not with any real trepidation. Not even the first time. I knew it was coming and nothing would stop it or alter it so I didn't have strong feelings about it. It was simply marching toward me inexorably. Oh, that sounds ominous. But it wasn't that way for me. I just don't get wound up, I guess. I get more nervous about calling someone I don't really know or talking to a person in authority than I did about childbirth. Way to go, huh? Way to embrace the enormity of the moment. 

Change does make me nervous but I think I manage to be more nervous about my lack of excitement than about the actual event. 

On Thursday, my parents are having their mikveh to finalize the conversion process. My father is thrilled beyond words and is likely to jump up and down. No lie. My mother is where I get my oddness, I suppose, as she's simply of the mind of 'Well, of course we're doing this. It's what we've been working towards for the last 18 years.' Why get worked up over reaching the very point of life you've been working towards. 

Thursday evening, I have a meeting with the Rabbi to discuss my own mikveh date. I am a bit anxious about this but I think more because I feel as tho it's happening to someone else. Maybe that's more accurate than just saying I don't feel excited, etc about things. I react as tho it's someone else having the experience. Is this normal?

Lily has started toilet training herself and THAT almost freaks me out. The end of babyhood is upon us. She's speaking more clearly, likes many of the same things Izzy does (books, babies, same movies) and now she's toilet training. And it's all her own idea. Seems to be key with our girls, to getting them to do pretty much anything. 

Life is moving forward in so many ways.