December 23rd, 2012

The other day, Izzy had a near melt-down while we talked about having Christmas at Uncle Joel's house. I think she was just overly tired because every obstacle I removed (yes, Nana will be there... Santa doesn't forget presents... you'll get to see everyone...) was met with a 'what if?' and sniffles. She even asked "What if Santa is dead?" Now that's a child determined to have a reason to be upset! 

If you're wondering what I told her about Santa, especially when she asked if he could be dead... well, I'll tell you. I told her that part of Santa's magic is that he'll be around as long as he needs to be and that he's been doing this job for so long, there's no way he'd forget to do his best to give every kid at least something. She said "Well, I know that there are a lot of countries so there must be a lot of Santas." I think it's great that even when she's seeing the 'flaws' in the Santa story, she finds a way to compensate and hold on to it just a little longer. We went to our local mall and saw Santa there (thank goodness the same one has been there since she can remember) and afterwards, she said "Well, I know he's the real Santa. But how does he get here?" She's pretty sure his reindeer aren't allowed in the mall so he must get a ride from someone else. hehe. 

Childhood is a wonderful thing... for the kids it's a time of constant exploration and wonder and for the adults? I think it's a time to reconnect with what's innocent and beautiful in the world. A time to declutter your mind and heart and enjoy life for what it is. 

November 26, 2012

When a year starts to draw to a close, I look back and wonder what I could have done differently. As a parent, it's probably impossible to avoid this. It's difficult not to second-guess yourself, once a little distance comes into play.

Most projects that we undertake can be learning experiences. You might not repeat the exact same project but when you do similar ones, you can apply the things you've learned and hope for a different outcome. You might be more patient, more attentive to detail, less forceful. Rearing children does NOT work that way. If you do something wrong when they're three, you can't do it better later. You can't un-yell or re-discipline. What's done is done. But you can be better when they're four and hope to rework habits you've ingrained in yourself and them.

In a few (too short) months, I will be 34, Ben will be 12, Lily will be 4, and Izzy will be 6. I'm halfway resigned to being done with baby-ish years but these numbers are a little scary. I can't go back and redo the 2's and 3's. I wish I could, for many reasons.

Next fall, Lily will officially be starting Pre-K. Which seems silly to say... Pre-K with Izzy was learning the alphabet, coloring, and trying to learn to use scissors. Lily has already begun this process because she cannot  seem to leave anything or anyone alone during school hours.

A couple of months ago, Chad was out of town for a week so I painted the living room. I really wanted to paint the girls' room but I couldn't figure out how to do that with them up. So the living room is a beautifully soft grey and the girls' room is still a tacky off white. Chad's out of town again for a few days this week so maybe I'll set the girls up in my room for a couple of hours and get started on their walls. I should be able to knock it out in a day, if I don't lose my mind trying to keep them in check. haha

September 19, 2012

Last year, I think I made some sort of pledge to myself to stop going places in schlumpy clothes and even to try not to bum around the house that way. It's not attractive, I don't like the idea of someone coming to the house unexpected and seeing me all sloppy, and it just makes me feel better to dress a bit.

I have seriously fallen off that wagon. I'm actually trying to rationalize taking the girls to ballet class while still in my super-sloppy big t-shirt and sweat pants. Argh. I must need new pants if I just can't stand the idea of putting them on.

July 15, 2012

This summer break with Ben has gone by so quickly. :( It's been a good time, even if we haven't done a whole lot of new/exciting things. Chad's been off the last week and will be off this week as well. Hopefully, we'll make it to the zoo soon, before it gets even hotter.

Tonight, the boys are at the lake, getting some 'camping' in. Pops will join them tomorrow morning to do some fishing. I don't understand the attraction, especially if the fish aren't going to be eaten by us. haha. But I'm glad they're getting some 'man' time together. Ben does so well with the girls that it's easy to forget that he's so much older and likes to do different things.

Last weekend, Chad took Ben to do some paint-ball... shooting? playing? I don't know what you call it. It was for a friend's birthday so I'm sure Ben enjoyed being out with older kids and other guys. He had a pretty nifty battle wound to show for it, which he couldn't help showing off to everyone who was interested. Boys... ;)

Izzy will be 5 on Wednesday. ACK! I am NOT ready for that. I still have to print/put together a few party things and, you know, buy her a present. She wanted some "stompeez"... silly house shoes that flap or open mouths when you step. But she didn't ask for them till like a week ago and that doesn't leave much time for shipping. I asked her to think some more and she came up with a 'purple haired LaLaLoopsy' doll of her very own. Should be easy enough to find one of those.

Lily has been super accident prone lately. Fell down and skinned both knees a week ago and then fell and skinned a new spot on one knee yesterday at Taste Dallas. Poor kid looks so rough with three band-aids on her knees. She's running a fever today... hoping it doesn't turn into anything major.

School is around the corner and I have done NOTHING to get really and truly ready. Ugh. I wanted to keep schooling through the summer but that just didn't happen. Not the way I'd wanted it to, anyway. We did more reading and kids are always learning, one way or another, but we didn't do the book-a-week thing I'd hoped. Oh well.

January 4, 2012

With every change from one year to the next, I experience a little bit of disappointment. I think as a child, I imagined that there would be a tangible difference when the date changed from December 31st to January 1st. Like when your birthday rolls around... you think you'll feel older, more mature, special in some way. And then you wake up and the day feels like all the ones before it. Your hair isn't magically restyled, your clothes look the same, and that smell of stale dog-breath still hasn't left the room.

I used to make 'uber-lists' as the year changed and each new year, I would read over the previous list and be disappointed with myself for not having put more effort into life. Now maybe my lists were too long or too specific or I was just setting goals for myself that didn't make sense but I eventually failed at even writing the lists. I think last year, I said something about "we need to repaint in here sometime" and that was as close as I came to setting a goal. I DID actually repaint our bedroom/bathroom but I never got around to the girls' room/bathroom or the downstairs walls. I haven't decluttered my house or my life and I know that's been on my list at least a few times. 

It may be time for a new attempt at an uber-list. I will not make one as long as I used to. 100+ things to accomplish in a year? Madness. 10 seems too trite so I am going to work on 13. 6 fun ones and 7 serious ones. 

Serious like the days of the week:

1. Actually DONATE the bagged items I've got stashed away. They aren't doing anyone any good as long as they're still sitting in the laundry room.

2. Organize closets. This one shouldn't really be that hard because I actually DO like making a mess and then cleaning it back up. 

3. More sewing. I have patterns for dresses for the girls and even enough material to make a few and I just haven't done it yet. 

4. Run at least one race. I'm already signed up for one so this is highly do-able. 

5. Paint a room in the house. Seriously. Really need to do this. haha

6. Study scripture more. I feel like this is attainable. After all, the Torah has already been divided up into nifty portions for each week and all I have to do is READ them. 

7. Cut back on spending. This one is HARD because I generally try to spend money on things I actually have need of and yet I feel like I'm often spending simply because it's there. 

Fun, like Funday.

1. Get a wok.

2. Write more letters to people. 

3. More date-nights!

4. Re-watch all of Gilmore Girls.

5. Attend another home-school book-fair. This was a lot of fun last year and I feel like it could definitely help to keep things fresh and interesting. 

6. Clean out old makeup/hair products so I can FIND things again. Yes. This is a fun one.