December 14, 2012

What can you say when the unthinkable happens? When something horrific and violent, like a shooting at a theater or a mall or a school, shocks you out of your daily routine and makes it impossible to just be... happy.

I cannot grasp how these things happen and I'm just so terribly sad for the families involved. Those that are innocent victims and those that cannot understand why their children would do something so awful. What was so terribly broken in these minds and hearts that they thought this was a viable response to the world around them?

Tonight, our synagogue had our annual menorathon: we bring our family menorah and candles and light them together. It's a beautiful sight to see so many lights burning brightly... reminding us to be a light to the world, to continue the chain of tradition, to reflect on years past, to burn with hope for the future. Tonight it felt like a reminder that there is light in the world and that we need to fan those flames when we have dark days like today.

Praying for peace and healing.

December 13, 2012

The school year isn't even close to being over but I'm already starting to get the new-curriculum anxiety. Izzy's just about done with the Math U See Primer (as in: we have 4 pages left!) and other workbooks that we like to use are nearly done as well.

What REALLY gets me anxious is knowing that Lily will be 4 in 6 months (as of yesterday!) and I really want to get her started with some sort of formal learning. I know a lot of the learning that Izzy did at 4 was just happy accident but it feels like I need to actually plan things out a bit better for Lily. She knows a lot of her colors and shapes and she can count quite well but she's not familiar with letters or numbers yet and it seems like she could be, if I took the time to teach them 'officially'.

So here's where I went wrong today: I started looking for new activities for Lily and overwhelmed myself by looking at what other moms are doing/providing for homeschooling kids at this age. There are so many 'packs' and 'kits' and whatnot that it's mind-boggling. I keep telling myself that these things are coming from moms that have 4-5 kids and/or used to be teachers in public/private schools so of COURSE they come up with all kinds of activities. So many of them look cute or fun but then when I think about printing them out and using them, it hits me how redundant it is. I know kids love to repeat themselves but a color of the day? animal of the day? I think we'd be burnt out within the first week and not find enough new ways to explore those things to make it worth my time printing/cutting/laminating.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just talking myself out of these things because it seems so time consuming. I mean, how am I supposed to enjoy teaching if I'm either planning a lesson, setting things up for it, or teaching it? It's like the coupon ladies... how can you enjoy yourself if your time is used up with all of this busy-work and nothing of substance? I love my kids but I can't get anything done or enjoy any free time if every waking minute is devoted to school. Surely there's a middle ground somewhere.

December 13, 2012

It's the 5th night of Chanukah. So funny how we were anxious for it to start and suddenly it's nearly over! Izzy lit the candles with me the first night but I guess I said something about wax dripping on my finger and now she doesn't want to try it anymore. Lily has no such worry and has been lighting the candles for me each night. She's just not afraid to try things, even if something goes wrong, she'll keep going. I hope she doesn't lose that attitude ever.

Lily was battling a stomach virus two weeks ago (started the 30th and ran through the 4th) and seems to still be bouncing back. She ate next to nothing for those 5 days and now she's asking for 2nd and 3rd helpings on a lot of foods. I guess it's a combination of regaining what she lost and a growth spurt? Either way. It's much better to hear 'can I have some more?' than 'I think I'm gonna throw up' every couple of hours. :)

School is going well for Izzy. I'm hoping we're making some breakthroughs on reading but she's still so hesitant to even sound things out. I think I was the same way  because I know I was still shy about even trying to read when I was 7 or so. I need to read more to the girls so that they really grasp how important and exciting it is to read for themselves. I don't think Lily will be an early reader but it wouldn't surprise me.

It seems like there's always a phase being gone through these days. Fighting about everything, whining to get their way, making noises when someone is talking to them, arguing incessantly... I guess it's not so much a series of phases as it is one loooooooong phase of contrariness. haha. This too shall pass? Sometimes it seems like structure is the answer but the whole point of homeschooling with this method was to avoid rigid structure to our days/life. Consistency is difficult for me.. how do you drop everything to enforce each instruction you give without setting the expectation that mommy has to come help/push/guide every time she gives an instruction? Consequences for disobedience are consistent but I find myself so exasperated at having to leave so many of MY activities/chores half finished to impose those consequences or redirect little hands towards better activities.

Ok, re-reading that last paragraph's beginning has me thinking that the phase that's being gone thru right now is a verbal defiance phase. Expressing displeasure or annoyance without any filter or control. So... what's the key to resolving that? It seems like when I was a kid, we still got flicked for talking out of turn or had to put scotch tape on our mouths to help us be more mindful. Lily tends to react in the oddest ways to discipline. Either she gets sullen and then goes back to her bad behavior when the punishment is over (and so it starts again) or she laughs it off. I think there needs to be some sort of 'come to Moses' parental meeting to figure out a plan here... haha.

November 26, 2012

When a year starts to draw to a close, I look back and wonder what I could have done differently. As a parent, it's probably impossible to avoid this. It's difficult not to second-guess yourself, once a little distance comes into play.

Most projects that we undertake can be learning experiences. You might not repeat the exact same project but when you do similar ones, you can apply the things you've learned and hope for a different outcome. You might be more patient, more attentive to detail, less forceful. Rearing children does NOT work that way. If you do something wrong when they're three, you can't do it better later. You can't un-yell or re-discipline. What's done is done. But you can be better when they're four and hope to rework habits you've ingrained in yourself and them.

In a few (too short) months, I will be 34, Ben will be 12, Lily will be 4, and Izzy will be 6. I'm halfway resigned to being done with baby-ish years but these numbers are a little scary. I can't go back and redo the 2's and 3's. I wish I could, for many reasons.

Next fall, Lily will officially be starting Pre-K. Which seems silly to say... Pre-K with Izzy was learning the alphabet, coloring, and trying to learn to use scissors. Lily has already begun this process because she cannot  seem to leave anything or anyone alone during school hours.

A couple of months ago, Chad was out of town for a week so I painted the living room. I really wanted to paint the girls' room but I couldn't figure out how to do that with them up. So the living room is a beautifully soft grey and the girls' room is still a tacky off white. Chad's out of town again for a few days this week so maybe I'll set the girls up in my room for a couple of hours and get started on their walls. I should be able to knock it out in a day, if I don't lose my mind trying to keep them in check. haha

October 8, 2012

It has begun! I am officially attempting to de-clutter the house.

So far, I've turned around all my clothing hangers and cleaned up the kitchen pantry a bit. I understand the concept of breaking things down into small, manageable tasks. I'm actually glad when a 'challenge' comes with instructions to not overwhelm myself or set unrealistic goals for the day/week/month. But then I get impatient and think "But I don't want to wait till next week to clean the hall closet. Maybe I should do one task a day instead of one a week. And the garage needs to be sorted out... and toys donated... and cabinets reorganized..." You get the general idea.

I thought we were finally all done with whooping cough but the cool front brought new respiratory aggravation. Praying it is gone quickly because hearing all the hacking and sniffling is depressing.

October 4, 2012

Decluttering Tasks » The Organised Housewife:

'via Blog this'

A friend of mine posted about this on the Facebook the other day and I've tried and tried to take a look at it but I just can't seem to get organized enough to free up the hour or so it'll take to peruse the list of tasks. haha. Isn't funny how that works? To find time to learn how to declutter/organize, you have to first somehow BE organized. *sigh*

Also, I tried to post this yesterday and failed to complete it. That should say something...

September 21, 2012

A Google search for "how many toys should a child have" turns up an uncomfortable number of articles, blog entries, and comments about how limiting your kids' toy supply actually helps them get along better and encourages greater obedience. Becoming Minimalist and The Mother Company are just a couple of hits.   

And then there's this gem from Yahoo! Answers: Wowza. Yes, scroll down to the 'winning' answer. I wonder if that mama feels the same now as she claimed to 4 years ago. Heck, I wonder if she felt the same 4  HOURS later when it was time to clean them all up. 

In the last few months, I've boxed away a few types of toys that were of the 'spill and forget' variety. Squinkies, Zoobles, Littlest Pet Shop, Lil Woodzeez... all cute and little and just a pain in the rear to clean up constantly. If they got played with for more than 15 minutes, the chorus of  "know where my ____ is, Mommy?" would start. They were treasures to hide away but now that they've been put away for the last month, they've hardly been sought out at all. 

Why am I rambling about this? Oh yeah... because I've been donating garbage bags full of 'stuff' over the last few months and it still feels like we have too much. Granted, some of those things have been old clothes, shoes, kitchen gadgets that weren't being used, and the like. But a pretty hefty amount of toys have gone out the door, too. The girls sometimes ask for things that are waiting to go to Goodwill but most of the time, they don't seem to notice anything has changed in their playroom. And yet still, they fight over what they do have and try to hide things away in their 'special' drawers or boxes. I hate to discard baby dolls and stuffed animals but when they just get dumped on the floor and wallowed in, they aren't precious anymore, right? Argh. It's astounding but I find myself sometimes surprised by the reality of it all: they won't suffer if they have fewer toys, they won't lose their ability to imagine or create, and (surprise!) I will be less frustrated with 'clean up time' if there is less to wade through. 

Some of this just been bouncing around in my head for the last 4 years (yeah... Izzy was 1 before she had any real amount of toys) and tonight's reading here at Simply Charlotte Mason just gave me a little nudge. I think Sunday may be a toy purging day for us. I hope I'm ready for a few weeks of 'I'm bored!'