Poor little babies...

Just read an article Here about how few babies are exclusively breastfed for a significant amount of time. It makes me sad for all those babies and mommas that don't get to enjoy extended bf'ing time. I know some women try bf'ing and find it doesn't go smoothly, some have to go back to work and don't feel they can pump while there, some find formula fits into their current lifestyle better than whipping the girls out, and some just don't want to. It's still a shame. I wouldn't trade the 16 months of nursing with either of my daughters for anything. Not more free time, not more sleep, not more claim on my own body. Nothing. It's the best way to feel bonded to your child, I think. Those moments of peace and relative quiet help you lose focus on the frustration that comes with parenthood and find forgiveness for your own shortcomings as you realize you can provide not only nutrition but a sense of security and love.


Of course, like any parent can tell you, those moments of peace and reflection can get lost mighty fast. The crying and whining now filling my ears has completely derailed me. It's hard to write about how much you love your children when they're pouting because you won't turn on the tv or let them sit on their sister.

Reality checked.

E I E I O

Lily has discovered the joys of repetitive sounds. Today, she's been bringing me the See and Say and demanding "E AH E AH OO". I guess it's one of the easiest tunes to sing along with when you're a year old. Seems like the only other one she's latched on to has been "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean," because she can say 'be bat, be bat' a lot.

Received an order from LectraLock today. Finally, I can cover outlets that are in use and keep the girls from un/re plugging everything 50 times a day. Of course, as soon as I got started installing one lock, Lily ran off with the screw driver and stuck it through the grill of a box fan and scared herself silly. At least it was through the front side and not the back, into the guts of the fan. I foresee many 'holy crap, what has she done NOW?' moments in our future. It's not enough that she's fearless about trying new things... she has to look for things that no child should attempt.

Yesterday, I started a batch of sourdough bread. Of course, after mixing up the sponge a bit, I forgot to attend to it till nearly 10 hours later. It didn't seem to be any worse for the neglect so I kneaded it a while and left it to rise. The recipe calls for an hour and a half of resting time but it was so late, I figured maybe I'd risk leaving it longer than that. Surely the girls could be trusted to wake me in the wee hours so I could come back down and bake the bread. Right? No. Not last night. Last night, they slept like BABIES. So this morning, I came down to the kitchen at about 8 and the dough had apparently had enough of my shenanigans and decided to make a break for it. Thankfully, dough is not the fastest entity and it only made it a few inches out of the bowl and onto the counter. I don't know if you can ruin sourdough (well, aside from letting the starter grow mold or something)... it currently is in the form of two huge loaves and smells delicious.

Possible progress is better than none at all.

I am so behind on many things. School stuff for Izzy, sewing projects, crafts I promised to people this year (Hey, if you want something, please tell me if you have a preference on type. Otherwise, you'll just get soap. heh.) Cleaning. Training the dogs. Getting rid of toys. Getting rid of unused kitchen items. Blah.

But yesterday, the Izzy and I went to synagogue and I feel so much lighter as a result. It's really been weighing on me over the last few months that I need to have some purpose in my spiritual life. My regular life has purpose: don't let the children win. But I think if I want to have even a whisper of a chance of succeeding in that arena, I need to have the rest of my house in order. So, yeah. We went to shul and she was excited about the singing and the snacks. But it just felt so nice to be somewhere with people of common purpose. I didn't expect to feel so much better after going. I think the key moment was saying the Shema. You close your eyes and say it with everyone in the room and yet you are entirely alone in your declaration.

The last few years have flown by me and I wonder if that happens because I don't have clear "checkpoints" during those months. The occasional holiday is great but they don't have special meaning to me in most cases. Thanksgiving/Christmas are times to get together with family and I love that but I don't find a resonating meaning behind them. I have this urge to embrace more potent holy days.

Anyway. Moment of clarity, maybe?

Ovid

All things may corrupt when minds are prone to evil.

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Nothing in the entire universe ever perishes, believe me, but things vary, and adopt a new form. The phrase "being born" is used for beginning to be something different from what one was before, while "dying" means ceasing to be the same. Though this thing may pass into that, and that into this, yet the sums of things remains unchanged.

We're hearing lots of new words from Lily these days. She says her own name, tho I'm sure she doesn't know that it IS her name. But "YeeYee" is miles ahead of where I thought she'd be at this age. She's also saying "Sorry" and "tiki" (thank you) a lot. It's hard to encourage a kid to say 'thank you'... your only rational response is to say 'you're welcome' and then it just sounds like you're correcting them. Here's your sippy, baby. "Tiki" You're welcome. "But... I thought I was supposed to say thank you. Fine. You're welcome for taking this sippy from you. Whatever, dude."

I need to convince Lily that she does NOT in fact want to sit inside the new china cabinet. Maybe we'll need to baby-lock the doors. She opens them far to easily and then proceeds to cram herself in to the tiniest space. Might work to just encourage her to stuff her bears, etc. in there. Then there's no room for her but she still gets to play.

My mother-in-law will be moving back out soon. I do not like this. But I do like that she'll be moving in with a dear friend who needs the company and comforting. So it's all good, I guess. We'll just have to get better at planning/hosting family dinners or my kids my stage a revolt and also try to move...

Summer needs to hurry up and make way for Autumn. I'm tired of the heat. And I want to wear my comfy sweat pants, which I will insist on wearing rather than actually get around to buying normal, grown-up mommy outfits. It's just too complicated.

So THAT's how composting works.

Months ago, I started a small compost pile in the back corner of the yard. I had initially tried compost buckets but it seemed like nothing was happening. Well, not nothing. The ants were very appreciative of the ready-made house I'd given them. I dumped the buckets in the corner of the yard and let the ants go at it there, instead. I've been pretty good about adding fruit cores and rinds to the pile but it never really gets any bigger. Must be decomposing, right?

Yesterday, I discovered the true fate of my cantaloupe rinds and apples cores. The dogs are eating them. They must think I've lost my mind, traipsing out to the end of the yard to put treats out for them.

The funny part is that we have a dog poop "pit" going. So as they eat my organic refuse, I pick up their messes and put it deep in a hole to further decompose and disappear. It's doing some good down there, I suppose but it's not really what I had in mind...

List of New

New words for Lily: baby, "doh" (go), dog

New concept for Izzy: telling mama no and actually hoping to mean it.

New skills for Lily: climbing on the back of the couch, putting herself in her booster seat, putting hats on correctly. :) That last one is great because we have SO many little hats and she loves to put them on. Dress-up parties are all the rage.

Sophie is doing well. I think she's still got a few weeks of adjusting to the household but she's sweet and very pliable. Correcting her once or twice seems to get a point across pretty effectively. She's miles ahead of Pullo in that respect, as, two years on, he still is very pig headed about things.